The chef in the cafeteria at work is on vacation this week, and the catering company he works for has sent a substitute. So, in honor of his absence, allow me to tell you a little about our fearless chef.
Now, the chef is kind of crazy. For example, he may tell someone ordering lunch that she can have anything she wants, but the next unfortunate person in line may get a verbal bitch slapping. I’ve seen it many times. There’s no rhyme or reason to his behavior.
In addition, while making your, let’s say, sandwich, he may start a dialogue with himself on how your sandwich is the greatest sandwich he’s ever seen. “Look at this! Oh boy, now this is a sandwich! I buy the best cuts of meat. It may cost a little more, but it’s worth it! They ought to build a wall around Mexico!” Remember, this is the chef talking to the sandwich, not to you. In fact, he’s so involved with this conversation that he often loses all awareness of everything around him. I wouldn’t be surprised if he one day started humping a sandwich.
“Ungh! You’re the BEST sandwich. Yeah. I’m going to make you suck it! Ted Kennedy better watch his step! Look at all that mayonnaise!”
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