Deck the Halls!

This past Sunday, I drove to the CambridgeSide Galleria to partake in some holiday shopping! Take that, Bill O’Reilly, you dope.

While shopping at Border’s, I was fortunate enough to witness the fine "stylings" of one smooth operator: Two young women from a Northeastern University sorority were wrapping gifts for donations to charity. Their cause was for establishing public schools in economically deprived areas of India (the two young women were of Indian descent).

As I was browsing the Ds in Literature, several feet behind the two young women, this deceivingly normal-looking young man came over to the wrapping station and began working his magic. First, his purchases were from another store, but the women quickly decided to wrap them anyway. Then he started to talk to them. He sounded like a pod person, and after comprehending why these women were wrapping gifts, he proceeded to lay on the charm: "YOU GIRLS ARE REALLY BEAUTIFUL! WHAT'S NORTHEASTERN? IS THAT A SCHOOL?" After that, it all seemed to go downhill, somehow. I had to retreat to another section of the store because I was becoming physically ill with embarrassment. He did have a goatee though. Pencil-thin. Mambo Number 5!

As I was leaving, one of the women of course asked me if I wanted anything wrapped. I was thinking, "Now, what would a pod person do?" so I pointed to my crotch and yelled, "Wrap this!"

No, not really. But that would have been funny. Actually, I just stood there as they wrapped my gifts, and only spoke when I was spoken to, which may have made me look like a pod person, too.