Tuesday, December 19, 2006

"Someone is Killing the Women of Fusion!"

Yes, indeed. I must thank Dr. Joshua "The Fetus" Madden, the sometimes doctor / television executive producer / advertising executive / non-descript business honcho, for that immortal line. Apparently, a serial killer has come to Pine Valley, Pennsylvania and is, as the unibrowed fetus said, killing the women of Fusion, the cosmetics corporate giant. The first two victims were Simone Torres, the local comic foil, and Erin Lavery, the most likeable of the Laverys. Then again, even if Erin Lavery "kicked a puppy through a fan," she’d still be the most likeable of the Laverys. Yes, the Brothers Lavery, Ryan and Jonathan, are that annoying.

Where the Hell is Pine Valley?

I’ve been watching ABC’s All My Children for more than two years, and the one question I keep asking is "Where the hell in Pennsylvania is Pine Valley supposed to be?" The show often features scenes at a local, rather Hawaiian-looking beach, complete with palm trees. Yes, indeed, palm trees. Pennsylvania’s largest bodies of water are Lake Erie in the northwest, and the Delaware River in the southeast, which is hardly fodder for exotic beachfront property. If Pine Valley is in the southeast, as I believe it is, how come, while on this beach, characters never seem to realize that they’re looking at New Jersey?

3 comments:

Anonymous said...

...ummmm....because most of the people that watch All My Children usually aren't that cerebral.......

Anonymous said...

and most of the viewers aren't homosexual cartographers! homo!

YewMalibu said...

Basic geography knowledge is something sorely lacking in America today!