He Saw the Light!

Baseball Mitt Romney dropped out of the presidential race this morning or afternoon or whenever, and because everyone loves to listen to him talk, he gave some sort of speech after his announcement. I listened to a portion of it on NPR during my well-deserved lunch break. Goodness gracious; he is such a bag of stick fuck. Here is a summary of what he had to say, "REAGAN! EUROPE SUCKS! GAY JIHADIST IMMIGRANTS ON WELFARE THREATEN THE VERY SANCTITY OF OUR CORE CONSERVATIVE VALUES! DO NOT TOUCH THE HAIR!"

Yes, indeed. He apparently has some sort of issue with Europe. He referred to Europe in a manner similar to how many Americans refer to Africa: as if it were a single nation. He basically said gangs of godless hoodlums were roaming the streets of a cultural wasteland formerly known as "the Europe," raping, murdering, and drinking (coffee). I am no economist, but the last time I checked, the euro and the English pound were all worth more than the American dollar (hecky wecky, the Canadian dollar is worth more right now). Then he went on some obviously Mormon–inspired tirade against pornography and how it was a serious threat to our nation. So, pay attention, Stephen Colbert; there is a new number one threat: tits.