More Car Talk

I dropped off my car at the dealership yesterday, and inside the dealership there is a "car rental agency," from which you can rent cars while your own car is being "diagnosed" for the tidy some of $95.98. Anyway, I answered the rental agent's questions, such as:

"Are you the only person who will be driving this car?"

Yes. (For some reason, I started to think of the old Saturday Night Live skit, "Toonces the Driving Cat." In fact, my cat resembles Toonces, but my cat cannot drive a car--yet.)

"Will you be crossing state lines?"

It depends on how old she is. Ha-HA! (No, I didn't say that.) Now here's the question that really caught me off guard.

"Do you want the Dodge Magnum? It has a Hemi."

What? You rent Hemis?

For those of you who don't know, a Hemi is a high-performance V8 engine developed by the Chrysler Motor Corporation many years ago. The Hemi was available as an option in many of Chrysler's muscle cars, like the Roadrunner, the Charger, and the Barracuda, and it has recently re-emerged, after a thirty-year (or so) absence. The name Hemi derives from the engine's hemispherical cylinder heads blah, blah, blah. If you're a typical guy, you probably have an erection by now. If you're a typical woman, you probably have stopped reading this blog. Sorry.

I thought about it, and was tempted, but I opted for the basic rental, which was (drum roll, please) a 2006 Chevy Cobalt: a gold, 4-door, 4-cylinder, automatic Chevy Cobalt. Fuck yeah!

For those of you who don't know me (i.e., all of you), I love driving stick; I hate driving automatic. Why? I'm not sure. I learned to drive stick rather late in life, a month before my nineteenth birthday, and I didn't have the easiest time during my apprenticeship under my father; and to make a long story short (too late), my father is very patient with everyone, except members of his immediate family. I could go on and on, but I won't. You're welcome. In summation, I consider learning to drive stick a major personal accomplishment.

Now my car just needs a new radiator. The current one has a crack all along the top. The "fluid" is not pouring or spraying out, but it isn't exactly staying inside the radiator either. This repair will cost almost $600 American. Oh dear.

I promise my next post will be funny.