During my senior year of high school, we had a "bomb scare." Yes, someone called into the school, before class, to claim they had placed an explosive device somewhere on the premises. This was back in the fall of 1990, so this prankster was some sort of innovator.
My friend Brett and I both had lockers located downstairs in a dungeon-like hallway. We were in the same homeroom because our surnames both began with the letter "W." Brett and I also had a several classes together, including "Contemporary Affairs." For that class we used Time magazine as our text. One of the things Brett and I enjoying doing, besides reading the articles, was to alter the pictures inside with humorous intent.
One day, Brett somehow acquired a daily calendar entitled Dog a Day. As you can surmise, each day featured a photograph of a dog. In a moment of sheer inspiration, Brett decided to alter the photographs by drawing a penis (and sometimes penises) in the mouth of each dog. Imagine, for example, a picture of a smiling Golden Retriever with a big fat dick in its mouth—as if it were playing fetch—complete with scrotum.
After completing his task, Brett hung (wacka-wacka) his altered calendar inside his locker. Each day he would rip off the previous day's page to expose a new picture of a new dog with a new schlong in its mouth. This went on for weeks without a hitch.
Months later, the day of the bomb threat, the fire department was called in to look for the bomb. The firemen and the vice principal opened every locker in the school during their search, including Brett's. I can only imagine what they thought when in an effort to determine the existence or nonexistence of a bomb they discovered a calendar with pictures of dogs with large floppy cocks hanging out of their mouths. Unfortunately, after we were allowed to return to the building, we discovered that Brett's calendar had been removed. Damn it. We depended on that calendar. How were we supposed to know which day it was?
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