I heard there was some sort of football game...

Goodness gracious me. All this bitterness about the Super Soup & Salad Bowl. I am a native Massachussettsiansson, a person of Boston, and not all that into football (approaching zilch), but I watched the game and was sad to see the Patriots lose. I congratulate the Newer City of York Giants on their win and their impressive playing. Their fans should be happy.

What bothers me—and since I am bothered, you should be very concerned—are some of these comments I have been seeing on the Internets, and in the media in general, about the New England Patriots. To me, these comments sound just like the profoundly learned commentary of the mildly retarded, severely inbred, Yankees–obsessed psychofuckwads I hear in every bar during every Red Sox game. Please, do not stoop to this level. I already hear enough of it from living here (and no, we Massachusettsianonites are not all like that).

I never bought into the anti-Yankee bullshit. The Yankees, until recent years, always played better when it counted, which is why they beat the Red Sox, i.e., stop complaining and beat the other team. For instance, what is this lame accusation of the Patriots "running up the score" double-douche shit? My goodness, it is professional fucking football! If you prefer not having the opposing team score, prevent them from doing so. I think that is what professional football players get paid to do. I am sure of it. I read it somewhere.

In conclusion, I say, "Good job, Giants. You beat our team, which is something no other team was able to do. Congratulations, you deserve it." The rest of the NFL? Suck it. You lost, too; but you lost to the Patriots. Now all of you go out there and do something important, like sheltering the homeless or teaching the blind to fly commercial aircraft.